Internal Monologue

A Stranger’s voice inside my head

“Kill. Kill. Just do it, you will feel good. Come on! Do it”, I woke up to the wincing pain with a strange metallic voice moaning inside my head.

I could easily remember the day it had begun. It was a Monday morning, a few months back, right after my birthday celebration. Life was wonderful until that point in time. Lovable parents, and my caring boyfriend who could easily climb Mount Everest for me, but for now he just climbs my bedroom window. No one was happy as I was in life.

“Grab that knife on the table. Your wrist. It will be smooth and you will be relieved. Just do it, you spineless reptile”, the voice shrieked while I sat on the dining table.

“You sleep good, honey?”, my mother caressed my hair. Red-shot eyes betrayed my condition.

“She is pretending to love you. Stab her instead. The knife is just across the table. Grab it”,

“I have to go, getting late for my classes”, I just averted her eyes. My mother will be worried about not eating breakfast again.

“Jump. Jump in, the vehicles are fast. It will be fun. Run or push that girl to the road. Come on! Do it,” the voice reverberated inside my head.

I feel like running away from people. Runaway far from any living souls. I wanted to scream. I couldn’t take it. Everyone looks at me like I was insane. No doctors could understand what was wrong with me. They just prescribed some sedatives and asked me to stop stressing. I didn’t. What’s there to stress?. I was so happy with my family.

I didn’t have any mental issues. I am sane enough to believe that I didn’t imagine things. I am not schizophrenic either.

“You are terrible. See the life you are living. No one wants you, they ignore you. They will be happy if you die. Give them happiness. Give yourself happiness. Kill. Kill yourself. End your misery”,

“Stop! stop! go away. Leave me. Leave me alone”, I shouted and ran off. People were staring at me in shock and pity. I could hear their voices all the time.

“She is insane”, “She could be a failure”, “Her boyfriend would have knocked her up”, “She is so beautiful, pity she has gone mad”.

Finally, I have decided. I tried to overcome this state. But, I failed. I failed miserably. The voice may be right. I have to die.

“You are right, girl. You have made the right choice. This world is no longer a paradise. I will show you the real paradise. Come with me!”, the voice is guiding me to peace. It is not driving me insane. I was wrong all these days.

Blood is creeping out, slowly running through my hands. I lay the knife aside, feeling relieved. When I closed my eyes, I could see myself in an endless tunnel. The passage is pitch black, but the voice is guiding me. I kept walking and walking with blood dripping from my hands. There is light at the end. I could see.

Finally, paradise.

***

A few light-years away, a gigantic ship which is enormous than the size of the sun is floating in space. They have three eyes and are called the creators. They stood before a curved display screen, looking at their allotted human from earth. The creators control, manipulate, and simulate every action of humans.

Another three-eyed creator entered the place. His third eye looked different from the others.

“Mission report on subject XIV530861”, he asked.

“The simulation run on the subject XIV530861 is successful. We manipulated her through the voices. Like their conscious mind, we could control and simulate humans through the subconscious also”, one creator replied in a metallic voice.

“Excellent, steady the ship. Another galaxy is waiting for us to create the human race.

***